Decompression Chamber – Medium

Decompression Chamber

Sep 24

Death-anxiety

I have just had the worst death-anxiety attack of my life. I was quite literally just jerking around and moving my hands along my thighs for like a solid 2 minutes. I had been playing Forza, was totally into the game, and then out of the blue, I had this thought of “Fuck, I’m gonna die someday! And like, then it’s all over. For fucking ever.” I’m even kind of having a smaller attack right now just thinking back on it, because now I remember the feeling, and it makes the feeling come back.

1 min read

1 min read

Sep 20

Dealing with inevitability

I don’t believe in God/a god, but I hate the thought that when we die, life just leaves our body and then “that’s it”. Having been born into religion, of course I believed in a god as a kid. I thought, oh, Heaven, eternal bliss, blablabla, and so on. But…

3 min read

3 min read

Sep 6

The constant Will I, Won’t I?

There’s a constant struggle, or battle of two sides inside me. Indecision? Commitment issues? I hate calling it that, for people have this thing where they hear these words and think you’re just scum. Like I’m doing it just to fuck with others. I feel like no matter the subject…

3 min read

The constant Will I, Won’t I?

3 min read

Sep 5

Looking back feels weird

Now that I wrote a new post on here again after a long time, I saw the notifications, and upon checking them out, I re-read some of my old posts. Damn. And fuuuck. Funny thing, I still sometimes miss that girl that I dated 3 years ago. I would never…

3 min read

3 min read

Sep 1

A year and a half later…

…I decided to write again. What I said was gonna happen ended up happening. I lose my motivation for stuff and I stop doing it. I stopped writing this blog. It’s September 2023, I’m back home in the village, and I’m going back to the city in a couple of…

3 min read

3 min read

Dec 25, 2021

Holidays

It’s Christmas, and I just… sigh… fuck it.

1 min read

1 min read

Dec 19, 2021

Pre-Xmas

Yesterday was kind of brutal. I was just suffering. Thoughts of my ex keep coming at me right out of the blue. Just yesterday I saw some article somewhere that talked about Christmas with a narcissist, and at one point it said, basically, don’t expect to have a nice Christmas…

3 min read

3 min read

Dec 17, 2021

Will the hold ever loosen?

Friday morning, been off work this whole week. Got some stuff done, but not nearly as much as I would have loved to. I don’t know why, but the ex that I should’ve been over long ago still keeps popping up in my head. I’m looking at the map right…

3 min read

3 min read

Dec 7, 2021

Lonely December night

And I’d give it all away Just to have somewhere to go to Give it all away To have someone to come home to It’s December, it’s 11:55 PM on a Tuesday night. “Who the fuck has the Goddamn gall to call this house on a Tuesday night?” That’s…

2 min read

2 min read

Dec 2, 2021

It’s Thursday.

It’s Thursday. I’m working, from home. I stopped for a minute to check on this online idle game I’m playing and there is music on in the background, it’s some Eurodance from back in the day, from the ‘90s. As I’m clicking away in the game and the music creates…

2 min read

2 min read

Decompression Chamber

Decompression Chamber

This is my De(com)pression Chamber, a vehicle I use to (com)municate my thoughts to decompress as I, hopefully, emerge from the depths of depression.

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