Yesterday was kind of brutal. I was just suffering. Thoughts of my ex keep coming at me right out of the blue. Just yesterday I saw some article somewhere that talked about Christmas with a narcissist, and at one point it said, basically, don’t expect to have a nice Christmas…

Friday morning, been off work this whole week. Got some stuff done, but not nearly as much as I would have loved to. I don’t know why, but the ex that I should’ve been over long ago still keeps popping up in my head. I’m looking at the map right…

And I’d give it all away Just to have somewhere to go to Give it all away To have someone to come home to It’s December, it’s 11:55 PM on a Tuesday night. “Who the fuck has the Goddamn gall to call this house on a Tuesday night?” That’s…

It’s Thursday. I’m working, from home. I stopped for a minute to check on this online idle game I’m playing and there is music on in the background, it’s some Eurodance from back in the day, from the ‘90s. As I’m clicking away in the game and the music creates…

Shit, I was really angry on Saturday and now I’m really ashamed of myself for it. But at the same time, I know what I felt, the helplessness and all… the feeling of “I wanna do this thing” when it’s just not happening and this feeling always drives me crazy. …

DISCLAIMER: very foul language, irate behavior. I wanna leave it here, to demonstrate what this thing does to me. — — — — Been talking to one of my exes and she’s been saying she’s doing crypto, and I’ve been meaning to do it, too, but couldn’t ever force myself…

This whole week. I was off work, but I have the side job, so I should have been working on that. The deadline was Wednesday and I barely even started by Wednesday. Mind you, I’ve been sick since last Wednesday. Caught some cold, runny nose, coughing like a motherfucker, sore…

When was the last post I made? My ex sent me a friend request on FB, out of the blue, in mid-September, and I have a longish draft typed up about that that I never published. Now, 5 weeks later, it feels like “whatever” to look at, but it’s there…

It’s a Sunday. Yesterday I planned to visit my cousin to play with her kids a little, to recharge my batteries. My cousin said she caught some bug, she’s puking all day, so I didn’t go. Today my uncle came over with the older daughter (of my cousin’s), who’s 5…